Forged In Blood
by tombstonerose
Summary: When Little Joe returns from a trip not acting like himself, Adam tries to find out what happened, but Joe is not talking. Danger follows the brothers on a simple errand for their father, and one brother might lose his life for the other.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This was an idea that got into my head and I had to write it out. I hope you all enjoy it. :) Reviews are like warm brownies with ice cream for my muse.

Rating: Teen to be safe

Warnings: A hint of non-explicit adult themes, nothing graphic, in later chapters.

Ben Cartwright was having a normal day. Morning had dawned over the Ponderosa bright and clear. Birds sang sweetly, the sun shone merrily, and two of his three sons were eating breakfast without any sense of hurry. For once there seemed to be no extra work to catch up on, and they had no chores weighing on them. Ben cocked his head at his oldest.

"Adam, when did Little Joe get back from Reno? I know you were waiting up for him."

The dark haired man shifted slightly. "Well, truth is he still hadn't gotten home when I went to bed, about midnight. It was raining pretty hard though." He hastened to add. "He was probably delayed a bit. Cochise was in the stable when I fed Sport, so he made it home okay."

Ben relaxed. His youngest son had begged to be trusted with a large cattle sale by himself. Ben had had serious misgivings and had even suggested sending one of the other boys with Joe, but Adam and Hoss seemed to think he could handle it. If Ben was honest with himself, he knew it wasn't the contract he was worried about; it was the fact his youngest-trouble prone- son hanging about a city like Reno without supervision. He knew he was being overprotective, and in the end allowed Little Joe to go ahead. It seemed there had been no trouble if Little Joe made it back on time.

"Alright. I was getting concerned; it isn't like Joe to miss breakfast." He smiled and took a sip of coffee. Hoss paused in filling his large frame long enough to look toward the stairs in mild curiosity.

"That's right, Pa. No matter how late he is in town, he's always down for breakfast."

Adam smiled at his brother slightly. "What are you so anxious for him to be here for? That means there's more for you!" Ben and Adam chuckled at the indignant look on Hoss's face, which turned into uproarious laughter when he tried to protest and fell off his chair. Hop Sing popped his head out of the kitchen and, satisfied they were not laughing at his food, went back to preparing a warm breakfast for the hands.

"Alright, alright, simmer down. We don't want to wake Little Joe." Ben tried to calm his sons down, his stern manner somewhat softened by the fact he kept chuckling.

"No need, Pa. I'm awake." The soft voice startled Hoss and Adam into silence, looking at their normally peppy and upbeat little brother. He was strangely pale, with dark circles under his eyes. He gave a faint ghost of his normal smile and sat down in his usual chair. He served himself some food and ate mechanically, not meeting his father's eyes.

"So, did the sale go well? Ben prodded. Joe nodded, producing a letter from his shirt pocket.

"Sold every last one of them. Here's the contract; I already put the draft in the bank on my way home."

Ben smiled, pleased. "Well done, Joseph. Well done."

Adam and Hoss congratulated Little Joe as well, and he thanked them, but Adam could tell something was missing. Even as tired as Joe had to be, he would normally be flaunting his success at his brothers in that smug, cocky, yet slightly insecure way he had, as if he was seeking approval in between his satisfied self compliments. But today, Joe hadn't spoken more than twice, and seemed to have his mind on other things. Sensing his little brother didn't want to talk, Adam smoothly changed the subject to the strays that got out of the north pasture. Ben and Hoss instantly joined in the conversation, leaving Little Joe to his silence and his eggs.

A little later, Adam stood, quietly watching the rain fall through the barn door. Morning chores were barely done when the sky had opened up in a torrential rain. The entire ranch was caught off guard and taken cover where they could. Adam and Little Joe, who had been feeding the horses, wound up seeking shelter in the barn. The oldest Cartwright watched his youngest brother out of the corner of his eye. Little Joe had been quiet all day, and even a bit short tempered. Ben had noticed as well, from the way he furrowed his brow.

"Little Joe?" Adam asked conversationally, offhandedly. "Everything go alright in Reno?"

"I sold the cattle, didn't I?" Little Joe answered, fiercely.

"Yes, yes you did." Adam said consolingly. "I was just wondering if you had any side adventures. Meet anyone interesting." He was still watching Little Joe out of the corner of his eye. Joe had stiffened up and his jaw was clenched. "A pretty girl, perhaps?" He said lightly, almost teasingly.

"Why don't you ask what you really want to? Did I get in trouble? Because of course I have to have got in trouble." Joe exploded, surprising Adam. Swallowing his first angry words, Adam spoke calmly.

"Well, did you?" He instantly regretted that choice of words, and was immediately paid for that decision by Little Joe's angry outburst.

"Just because you are the oldest doesn't mean you know everything about me. Your precious college education doesn't make you better than me!" Joe spat. "Why can't you admit I did as good a job in Reno as you could have done?" Joe slammed a fist against the doorframe.

"Joe, I wasn't looking for an argument, I was merely asking how your trip went." Adam tried to calm his brother down. He had seen Little Joe in these moods before. Something was wrong and Joe was acting like a wounded and frightened animal, lashing out at anyone that got too close. Adam had noticed how easily Joe had deflected the question of trouble amid his angry blustering.

"Oh, you weren't looking for an argument, huh? Well, you got one. I am sick and tired of everyone on this ranch acting like I can't take care of myself."

"Joe, calm down. There is no need to yell." Adam said softly, knowing with a certainty now that something was really, truly wrong with Little Joe. He reached out gently, trying to steady his brother, who was shaking like a leaf. Little Joe stopped mid-tirade and shrank back.

Adam froze. He had never seen Little Joe draw away from him in fear. In play, yes, in anger, definitely, but never in fear. Little Joe truly looked like he was frightened of Adam.

"Little Joe…" Adam tried to reach him again. This time Little Joe did not draw back, but his eyes were still tinged with fear. Adam gently put his hand on his brother's shoulder. Joe was shaking, not in anger as he assumed, but fright.

"Don't!" Little Joe choked out, backing away from Adam again.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Joe. You don't need to be scared." Adam said, concern flowing through him like water. Something then snapped in Joe's eyes, and he stopped backing away. He even assumed some of his usual cockiness.

"Sorry, Adam. I didn't mean to snap at you. It was a long trip, and I got a lot of jawing about being the youngest guy at the sale. I guess it just bottled up in me, that's all." Joe nodded toward the door. "Rain's let up. We better go see what else Pa wants us to do today."

Adam gave his brother a searching look, but the younger man gave no indication of any of his previous fear or anger.

"Yes…good idea. Hold up a minute." He put a hand out to still his brother. "Why did you back away from me?"

Joe froze, then gave a sickly smile. "You had a funny look in your eyes, and I had just yelled at you pretty bad. I didn't want to get cuffed."

"I wouldn't have…" Adam protested, but Joe just laughed. "Didn't want to take the chance." He said, brushing past his oldest brother and heading up to the house.

Adam knew that Joe was lying to him. He knew something, or someone, had gotten to him in Reno. Something had happened, something that hurt him. Adam also knew that if he pressed Joe, Joe would react with the intensity of dynamite, and every bit as dangerous. Until he knew what was going on, he would let Little Joe alone.

He followed his brother into the house slowly, hoping that there would be no more episodes from his brother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, story alerts and favorites! I am overwhelmed by the response this got, and it inspired me to upload again for the second time in a week. This was just a little thing I wanted to write down; I am glad others are enjoying it! **

**Chapter Warnings: Nothing graphic**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable. If I owned Bonanza, I would have fought to keep Adam on the show. **

The following day was much like the preceding day. Joe was late to breakfast, unnaturally quiet, and actually snapped at his father when Ben asked him if he was alright. Joe evaded Adam altogether and avoided Hoss as much as he was able. Adam could tell it rankled Ben greatly to see this change in his son. At dinner, the patriarch cleared his throat and asked for his boys' attention.

"Adam, Little Joe, Hoss, as you know, winter is fast approaching. There are a few errands that need to be done before snow falls, and it will take all three of you to help me."

"Well, sure, Pa!" Hoss said eagerly. "What needs to be done?"

Ben smiled indulgently at his kindhearted son. "I need two of you to go Carson City. You boys remember Phillip Walker?"

The boys nodded, remembering the man who had recently negotiated a timber contract with the Ponderosa.

"Well, there are some papers that need to be signed before we can start shipping. I need the other one of you to go over to Widow Baxley's and help her with her harvest crop. It's small, but she needs another set of helping hands."

"I'll do that, Pa." Hoss said quickly. Adam hid a smirk, knowing his middle brother's main reason for volunteering was the Widow's famed pies and cakes, and the fact she was more than generous with sharing them. He had no objection; a trip to Carson City would be a nice change of scenery. Little Joe said nothing one way or the other.

"Very well." Ben said. "You boys should probably start for Carson City tomorrow. I'll get Hop Sing to prepare some food; and I'll draw up the papers tonight. Is that alright?"

Adam and Little Joe nodded, one smoothly, one automatically. Ben smiled, seeing a slight spark coming into Little Joe's eyes again. He was satisfied; he had hoped the proposed trip would help shake Joe of whatever had transpired on his last trip. Whatever happened, Adam would be there to help weather the storms Little Joe would inevitably run into.

His optimism lasted all the way until both boys were saddled up and pointed toward Carson City. Joe had regained a little of his usual fire, but it was clear he was still despondent about something. Ben stood watching his two sons ride off, not allowing himself to worry. He knew Little Joe; eventually he would either work through his problems or go to his father. Ben could no longer see the dust being kicked up by the horses, and turned and went back inside.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

Little Joe handed the livery stable boy a coin, smiling gratefully as he took Sport and Cochise from the tired Cartwright. The youngest boy aimlessly walked back up the street to the Hotel, where Adam was arranging for their rooms. Little Joe winced as the pain in his back grew sharper. The sweat and dust from the long ride dropped into the wounds, making them sting. Little Joe had been lucky so far; Adam hadn't noticed the wounds during the days on the trail, even when they stopped for the night. But he had a feeling he couldn't hide it much longer. Adam was a sharp man; Joe knew that he saw the flashes of pain in his eyes. On the trail it could be passed off as saddle sore, or he could even fake a light injury from the ride. But Adam would put two and two together soon enough.

Little Joe paused at the door to the Hotel, shifting his green coat a little straighter. He knew he had better start acting more like himself; there was no need for Adam to piece together the puzzle sooner than he already would. He tilted his hat and pasted on a jaunty smile, trying to override his irrational feeling that someone was watching him. Stalking him...reaching for him…grabbing him…

Little Joe pushed open the door and stepped into the brightly lit hotel, his jaunty smile dimmed somewhat but enough to fool Adam. He hoped.

"There you are, brother." Little Joe bumped the black-clad man cheerfully. "We all set?

Adam glanced up from signing the registry book with a faint smile. "Well, do you want the bad news or the good news?"

Joe frowned. "Better gimme the bad." He clenched his fist tight, ignoring the stinging across his shoulders.

"They didn't have two rooms for us; the good news is the one room has two beds, and the baths are free." Adam grinned, falling in step with Little Joe up the stairs to their room.

Joe felt a flash of anxiety flood through him. He managed a smile. "Well, if that is the worst of our problems on this trip, I'll be happy."

Adam nodded his agreement. They found their room with no trouble; it was a quaint room with two neat, quilt-covered beds and a writing desk. While it was not lavish, it was comfortable and homelike. Little Joe leaned against the door frame, nodding his approval.

"Nice looking place."

Adam agreed. "I'll see about meeting Mr. Walker, if you want to go rest. Or get a drink; I saw a decent looking saloon a few doors down."

Little Joe nodded, not catching the sudden shrewd look his brother shot him. "Sounds good, I might look into that. I might just go get myself a bath, too."

Adam nodded sagely. "Yes, I think that might be the best idea."

"Hey!" Little Joe protested, stretching out on one of the beds. "You don't exactly smell like a basket of fruit either!"

Adam gave his little half grin. "Compared to you, little brother, I am a _rose._" He drew out the last word in his dramatic, teasing manner, then ducked as Little Joe threw a pillow at him.

Little Joe hid his growl of pain at the jagged throbbing that ripped through his shoulder at the act. He noticed Adam staring at him and hastened to cover his hurt with a joke. "I guess I'm still pretty sore from the trip. If you wanted to beat me in arm wrestling, now is your chance."

Adam smirked. "I'll wait until you aren't sore, to make it even." He tossed the pillow back lightly.

Little Joe nodded at him and watched his brother leave. As soon as he was sure Adam wasn't coming back, he took off his jacket and shirt, gritting his teeth in pain as his shirt stuck to the gashes. He hissed, then slid over to the full length mirror in the corner. They seemed to be healing, but they were still painful. He stared at himself over his shoulder, seeing the angry red tacks all over his back, reliving the white hot pain, the snapping of the whip filling his ears. He looked down at his chest, seeing the bruises and scrapes…feeling the pain as sharply as is he was still being kicked…still being whipped, still screaming out for mercy but none coming. The nightmarish recollections captured him completely, holding him a prisoner to a memory.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Still do not own. **

**Warnings: Nothing too graphic, but we do get to know a little of what happened to Joe. **

**Author's Note: Wow! Just…wow! You guys are amazing; thank you for all the support and comments! I never thought anyone else would like my stories…you guys inspired me to write a lot faster than I normally do. I don't know if you are supposed to update this often, but I couldn't help it. My muse got all fired up reading reviews! :) Hope you guys like this next chapter, it is a bit long though. **

Adam was halfway down Main Street before he realized he had left the contracts in his jacket pocket, and that he had left the jacket on his bed. Sighing at his absentmindedness, he turned around, tipping his hat at a passing group of ladies, and walked back into the hotel. He pushed open their room's door, his mind already preparing the return journey. He froze, seeing Little Joe standing, looking in the mirror. Joe whimpered in alarm, looking for somewhere to hide, but it was too late. Adam could already see the bruises mottled Joe's chest, mingling with red welts. Joe backed up slowly, reaching for his shirt draped over the screening next to the mirror.

Adam felt something taking root in his soul, something dark and angry. "Joseph." His voice was hard, rough, dangerous, frightening even to himself. Joe flinched at the harsh sound ringing through the room. "Who did that to you?"

Little Joe didn't answer, just looked at Adam with those large, frightened eyes, balling his shirt nervously in his hands. Adam saw the way Little Joe was holding his shoulders and crossed the room in a moment. He grabbed Little Joe gently as he could and turned him around. Adam's normal stoniness cracked when he saw the whip marks mottling his little brother's back. They were large, red and angry, but neatly stitched.

"Who did this to you?" He bit out the words again, trying not to touch any of the wounds. Joe still wouldn't answer.

"Alright, you won't answer that, answer me this. Have you cleaned these wounds today?"

Little Joe turned around and shook his head. Adam clenched his fists and took a deep breath. "Go take that bath; they will get infected if you leave them like that. And come right back here when you are done."

Adam flinched at his authoritative tone; he wished his voice didn't sound so cold. He could see Little Joe's eyes flicker with something between resentment and sadness. Adam froze, trying to think of something more gentle to say, but Little Joe had already slipped out the door before he could.

Adam was waiting when Little Joe came back, seated in a little chair by Joe's bed. He looked up expectantly, appraising his little brother's face. Little Joe was stony faced and pointedly ignoring Adam, going over to look out the window with arrogance.

Adam did notice that Joe was not holding his shoulders as stiffly and smirked at the fact his order actually had helped, whether Joe admitted it or not. A moment or two passed, then Adam tired of the silence.

"Bath eased that aching?" He asked casually. Little Joe snorted.

"You know full well it did." Little Joe said, not angrily, but not friendly either.

"Come here." Adam stated as nicely as he could, battling anger at a faceless man and frustration at his brother's stubbornness. "Please." He added quietly. Little Joe turned toward him, eyes searching Adam's face, then slowly walked over and sat on the bed, facing Adam. An eternity passed in a moment as the two brothers watched each other, waiting for the other to speak.

BZA BZA BZA

Little Joe watched Adam tensely, not sure what his older brother was going to do next. He knew Adam would insist he tell him what had happened…and he didn't want to relive that again. He calmed his urge to fidget; it would hurt. There was a long moment of silence, then Adam spoke again.

"Joseph, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I want to know so I can help you. I keep forgetting you aren't my baby brother anymore. I have seen you handle yourself well in different situations, and you have a knack for getting out of trouble." Adam smirked suddenly. "Almost as great a knack as you have for getting _into_ trouble. You've even saved my hide a few more times than I would like to admit. It is obvious you had some trouble, and that concerns me. But if you say you took care of whatever happened, I will leave it alone." Adam's baritone almost, but not quite, hid his concern. "I trust you."

Little Joe's head shot up of its own free will. Adam was giving him an out; if he said it was taken care of, Adam would honor his word. But Little Joe hadn't taken care of it…not at all. He still _was _Adam's baby brother…he couldn't even defend himself anymore. He felt those angry tears he hadn't let himself cry prickle his eyes again. Adam spoke once more.

"However, if you need to talk, I am here. I won't judge or condemn you, Joe. Whatever happened. We'll figure a way to deal with it."

Little Joe opened his mouth and closed it again. "I don't know where to start." Joe hated how small he felt and sounded.

Adam didn't press him, for that Joe was grateful. But he did suggest, gently, that Joe start at Reno and go from there.

Joe nodded. Maybe telling Adam would help dispel the ghosts of memories flittering about his head. "Well…I got done with the sale a couple days early, and started back as soon as I was done. I guess I wanted to surprise Pa; you know, getting the job done even better then he thought?"

Adam nodded, face impassive but obviously listening.

"Well, about a day into the ride I came across these five men beating this Indian boy something fierce on the side of the road." Little Joe closed his eyes, unable to continue as the memory enveloped him.

BZA BZA BZA

Adam could see where this story was going. Little Joe would never allow a child to be beaten while he was around. He waited patiently for Joe to continue.

"I rode up to them, and they stopped to see what I wanted. I asked them why they were beating the kid…he was no more than ten. The leader looked right at me and said 'He's an Indian. Ain't that good enough?' I said 'No mister, it isn't. You and your boys load up and clear out or I'll make you.' I had done this kind of thing before, you know? Running squatters off the Ponderosa?"

Adam inclined his head slightly. Little Joe was the best one for running off squatters; he meant business, and could back his word with two guns worth of loaded steel. What his brother lacked in size he made up for in backbone. He had seen Little Joe back down men twice his size without blinking, even outnumbered. Adam's thoughts were broken as Joe continued.

"Well, at first it looked like they were going to leave, the one of the men looked at his boss and said 'Hey, Bill, why don't we have some fun with this kid?' and Bill smiled." Joe stopped for a second. "That smile was the most evil thing I've ever seen, Adam. And he said 'You heard 'im, boys. Get 'im.' I drew my gun, but they were quick; I fired at one, hit him in the leg. But two others had hauled me off Cochise before I could aim at another one. Then they knocked my gun away. They tied me with my own belt…and started kicking me. And kicking." Joe trailed off.

Adam clenched his hands tightly; how could someone do that to Little Joe? And more to the point…he had seen Joe fight up to seven men off once and made it look easy. If these four men, not counting the man Joe had wounded, could take on his brother and win, they must be very large and very mean. Despite the fact his face never lost its usual expression, Adam was furious. Adam wanted to know names, descriptions. He was going to hunt down these men- Joe was speaking again.

"They got bored of kicking me, I guess, because one got a switch and started hitting me with it." He indicated the red welts on his chest. "And that gave Bill an idea. He said that Indian lovers deserved to be whipped. He got his whip from his saddle…he gave me five lashes."

Adam sucked air in between his teeth. Three lashes could cause a man to faint, four turned your back into shivering ribbons, and five was simple torture.

"When he was done with that, I was so weak I think I passed out for a minute. When I came to, they were discussing what to do with me." Joe stopped sharply, obviously skipping something. "They were going to kill me, but just then, two Indian braves came up, whooping and hollering. The men cleared out pretty fast. I thought I was a goner, but it turns out that kid I saved? He escaped while they were busy with me and sent his two brothers back to save me."

"Is that who stitched your wounds?" Adam asked; that detail had been bothering him.

"Yes. They took care of me for a couple days, and when I could sit up in the saddle without passing out, I headed back to town. The men had left the saddlebags alone, so I deposited the bank draft and went home." Little Joe said, speaking quickly. "That's it."

Adam watched Joe carefully. "Are you sure that is everything? I know you, Joe. You wouldn't hide from us like that, if that was all it was."

Joe looked right at him. "I was embarrassed about not being able to fight them off, that's all."

"No, it isn't." Adam said sadly, standing. "But if that is all you want to tell me, I will leave it alone. While you were taking your bath I got this from the manager." He held up a small tin that had been sitting on the bedside table. "It's a salve for your cuts. It'll help them heal."

Joe looked angry. "You told him about my cuts?"

Adam shook his head. "No. I told him I cut myself on the trip."

Joe looked surprise. "You lied?" To Joe, that must have been something similar to the sun suddenly deciding to shine black.

Adam laughed humorlessly. "It is none of his concern; I paid for it, it is no longer his responsibility. Come here. It will help." _Little brother, why can't you listen to me? I just want to help you. Please…let me help you. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: You guys are the best…the reviews, alerts, PMs and favorites are unexpected and much appreciated! I even have received inspiration for another story from one of the PM's you guys sent in…thanks so much for sticking with this story! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a laptop and –at the moment- an overactive muse. **

Little Joe watched as Adam opened the tin. A pleasant aroma of lavender, aloe, and vanilla wafted out. Adam held it out for Joe's approval, as if assuring him he wasn't going to use poison on the wounds. Joe relaxed. Adam was only trying to help as best as he knew; Joe couldn't even count the number of times Adam or Hoss had patched him up after a fight at school before Pa saw him. Joe slid off his shirt and turned around, allowing Adam to patch him up one more time. Joe had a feeling it wouldn't be last time, either.

The salve was cooling, and warming at the same time. Little Joe had had the pain for so many days, he had forgotten what it was like to not have it. Imagine an ache, a pain, that is with you every waking moment and tormenting your dreams. Imagine that suddenly, within moments that ache disappeared, leaving behind only softness and relief. Man could say what he liked about Heaven, but that is as close to Paradise as you can find on earth. But Little Joe suspected that the real relief was from no longer hiding his pain from his family.

"Better?" Adam asked, his voice making it apparent he was actually asking, not trying to prove his superior intelligence. For once. He sounded almost anxious, as if he wasn't sure what to do if Joe said no.

Joe moved his shoulders, and there was no pain. He turned around to face Adam, pulling his shirt back on. "Yeah, Adam. That's great! It doesn't hurt at all."

Adam's face lit up, something Joe did not see too often. Adam was like a rock, careful to never show emotion if he could help it. "I'm glad. Don't overdo it; you aren't healed. This just takes the sting out for a few hours. We'll have to put some more on before we head home."

Even though he was still sounding bossy, Joe had known Adam long enough to hear the rough burr in his voice. His older brother was straining to hold something back. _Annoyance? No. Anger? Maybe…is it_ _directed at me? Stress over Pa's errand?_ Joe suddenly went white. "Weren't we supposed to meet Mr. Walker an hour ago?"

Adam held up a hand. "We are going to meet with him tomorrow morning, then ride home. I took care of it."

_Of course he did. He's Adam. _Little Joe thought, then asked if they were going to eat anytime soon.

Adam stared at him. "Is that all you think about? Eating?" He gave a small half grin. "I suppose we could take in a little food."

Little Joe grinned for the first time in a week without having to fake it. "Hey, I'm a growing boy. Hop Sing keeps reminding me."

Adam just narrowed his eyes slightly and shook his head. "Alright. Wouldn't want you to waste away."

Joe released a breath he didn't know he was holding; Adam was not going to press him any farther. That was good…that meant it was over…no more remembering…no more threat. That felt good.

BNZ BNZ BNZ BNZ

Adam watched Little Joe out of the corner of his eye at the saloon. After a good meal at the hotel, Adam had insisted on buying Joe a drink. After his revelation, Little Joe could use a little liquid encouragement. _What Pa doesn't know won't hurt him. _Adam thought grimly as his brother downed his third drink of the evening. And Adam was forced to admit to himself that his motives weren't entirely altruistic. Maybe the liquor would loosen Joe up enough to tell him what was really going on. Adam knew whatever was bothering him was not the fact he couldn't defend himself; it was obviously an unfair fight. Joe had, unfortunately, been on the losing side of fights before. He had never reacted like this.

Adam guiltily sipped his own beer, knowing that he had promised to leave the matter alone. But…if little brother decided that he wanted to talk when that pleasant fog of intoxication descended…well, he wasn't to blame.

"Hey…Adam…" Joe was starting to speak in a slightly slurred tone. He grinned widely at his brother and tipped back in his chair. Adam had to lean forward and grab the chair and pull him back up before he took a spill. Joe took off his hat and laid it on the green felt topped table, his motions slow and unhurried. Adam wondered if this little idea was a good one; they did have a long ride ahead of them the next day.

"Yes, Little Joe?" Adam said wearily, having prevented his brother from sliding out of his chair for the second time that night.

"That…that gal that was over here…what was her name? Sally?" He motioned to one of the saloon girls in a bright orange dress. "She was awful pretty, wasn't she, Adam?"

Adam glanced at the girl with her tightly braided black hair piled high on her head. She wasn't his particular fancy, but she was reasonably attractive. "Yes, I suppose she is."

"I got the feeling she likes me, ain't that the funniest thing?" Joe grinned widely again, well on his way to becoming truly and completely drunk. Adam did not want that, and signaled the bartender not to fill Joe's glass again.

"You have silver dollars in your pocket; of course she likes you." Adam said cynically. Joe did not seem to notice, suddenly closing his eyes.

"The lights are bright, Adam. Real bright." He murmured. Adam smirked to himself, finishing his beer. He headed to the bar for a cup of coffee for Joe and to square the bill. The bartender was occupied with another customer, so Adam stood patiently. A man in dusty clothes smiled at him. He pushed his battered hat up, revealing his sharp face and almost pitch black eyes.

"That your kid brother?" He nodded to Joe. Adam nodded back. The man grinned. "Had a bit too much, eh? You boys celebrating a happiness or drowning a sorrow?"

Adam smiled politely. "Nothing in particular." He didn't like the man…something was off about him.

The man narrowed his eyes at Adam, but kept up his grin. "Reminds me of my own kid brother. Couldn't hold his liquor either." There was almost something menacing in his manner.

"My brother is just fine, mister." Adam said lightly, motioning for the bartender. The man seemed affronted.

"I meant no offence, mister. Just trying to be friendly." He took a long drink from a whiskey glass.

Adam handed the barkeeper the money and accepted the coffee. He tipped his hat at the girl Joe was taken with as she passed and turned back to the man. "No offence taken. Nice talking to you." He lied civilly.

The man waved his hand amicably, though Adam felt that same strange repulsion tickle the back of his neck.

_There is something about that drifter…stop it, Adam. You could be suspicious of a priest. _He scolded himself. _He's done nothing to you. _ Adam handed Joe the cup of coffee and ignored the wanderer at the bar.

Joe looked up, smiling dreamily with his eyes closed. "Hey…Adam….do you hear the music? Such pretty music." He started humming off key and Adam knew he had had enough to drink.

"Come on, buddy." He looped his arm around Joe, planning to support him as he walked out, but from the way Joe slid right to floor, it was apparent Adam would have to carry him out. Joe looked up from where he had slithered to the ground, bewildered.

"Adam! You….grew….or I shrunk…." Joe shook his head and looked around the room. Everyone was ignoring the two; a friend assisting a drunken companion out was a frequent-expected, even-occurrence. Joe suddenly gasped and grabbed at Adam's leg sharply.

"That's him!" Joe said in a harsh whisper.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Thanks for the continuing support! I'm glad you all like this story! Reviews are welcome!**

**Warnings: None for this chapter. On with the story.**

**BNZ BNZ BNZ **

"Who is what, Joe?" Adam barely kept the annoyance out of his voice, knowing it was his fault Joe was drunk. He stooped and pulled Little Joe to his feet. Little Joe leaned heavily against him, almost as if he was using Adam as a shield.

"That man…he was one of the ones that was there….he was one of the five…" How Joe managed to get the words out in a rush without tangling them up, Adam didn't know, but his meaning was unmistakable.

"Where, Joe?" Adam clutched at the arm he had draped over his shoulder. "Who?" He scanned the crowd but saw no one that looked out of the ordinary.

"The man that was….right by the bar…went out the door, I think." Joe's words were definitely slurred by now, and he started shaking his head slowly. "I…don't want him to find me, Ad…aaamm…wan' go to bed-" Joe slumped against Adam's shoulder, unable to continue with his statement. Adam frowned, unsure if Joe's claims were drunken ramblings or if one of Joe's attackers was actually in the saloon with them. He decided that either way, it would be best to get Joe out of the saloon. He considered carrying Joe over his shoulder, but with those stitched gashes he didn't want to take the chance. He bundled Joe as gently as he could and carried him to the Hotel.

The clerk on duty looked up and looked worried. "Is he alright?"

Adam nodded, kicking the door shut behind him. Before he could reassure the man his brother was fine, Little Joe broke out in a shaky version of Buffalo Girl. The clerk gave an understanding smile and went back to his newspaper.

"Hush, Joe." Adam said, trying to negotiate the tight stairs with his burden.

"Hush, Joe." Little Joe repeated in a lilting singsong. "Buffalo girl won't you come out tonight, come out tonight…come out tonight…hush, Joe!"

Adam sighed, hearing the Hotel door open behind him. Joe was obviously putting on a good show for some unsuspecting traveler.

"Guess he really _couldn't_ hold his liquor, huh?" It was the drifter from the bar. He grinned at Adam from the base of the stairs. "Want some help?"

Adam politely declined, not wanting anyone to unknowingly rip out one of Joe's stitches. He made it to the top of the stairs and tried to get Little Joe to stand up. The drifter had reached the top of the stairs as well.

"Name's Fredricks. Dennis Fredricks." The drifter held out his hand, then realized Adam couldn't return the shake. Adam smiled tightly.

"Adam Cartwright." Normally he would introduce Joe, but he didn't want to share anything more with this man then he had to. Plus, Adam was having a hard time keeping Joe on his feet. Fredricks smiled and said if Adam ever needed help, just give a call.

Adam smiled again, thinking to himself that it would be a hot Boston wintertime before he called on the man for help. He helped Joe to their door and closed it hurriedly behind them.

"Hey….Ad..aaamm….I…don't feel …so good." Joe murmured, resting his head against Adam's shoulder.

"Easy, easy…I would imagine four glasses of whiskey would not make you feel your best…" Adam said lightly as he helped Joe stretch out on his bed.

"No….it's….my back…stings…." Joe's speech was so slurred Adam was having trouble understanding him.

"'Hold still." Adam said, hunting down and easily locating the salve. He shrugged Joe's shirt off and applied another layer of the medicine. He felt Joe relax under his hand, and sighed in relief. He hated this strange feeling of helplessness when it came to Joe. He always knew what to do when it came to his brothers. From as long as he could remember, he _always_ knew what to do, how to handle it.

He absently tucked the blankets around Joe and sat, stroking Joe's hair like he had ever since Joe was a baby. That reminded Adam of when Joe was born. It had been a hard birth. Adam, only eleven, hadn't understood everything; all he knew was there was a good chance Marie and the baby might not make it.

Pa had given him the instructions to take care of little Eric while he helped the doctor, and Adam had devoted himself to caring for his toddling little brother. But his mind was working like a hundred horses about his new little brother or sister. Would he love it like he loved Eric…or Hoss, as he called him? He cared for Marie, and he loved his Pa…so he should love the new addition to the family, right? But what if he didn't? What if he couldn't? He didn't know if he could love anyone else…he had loved Inger, and she had died. Of course, in a few years he would know that that was not his fault, but at the time he was still unsure. He was almost afraid he loved Hoss and Pa too much…what if they got hurt too?

Eric had just dropped off to sleep in his bed when Ben found Adam.

"Adam?" Pa's voice had made Adam look up sharply.

"Pa?" Adam was quiet, eyes searching his tired father's face. Ben had smiled widely, relieving Adam's worry. "The baby and Marie are fine. Come meet your new brother."

So it was a boy. Adam followed his father nervously, still unsure of himself. Would he get along with the baby? Would he be able to help Pa with this baby like he had Eric? Most importantly…would he be able to love it?

Pa guided him to a little cradle, with a little bundle wrapped in white clothes. Pa lifted the baby and handed him to Adam gently. "Careful." Pa's voice was a whisper.

Adam looked down at the little bundle. The baby's eyes were open already, big green eyes, and he was looking right at Adam. Adam held the baby for a long moment, just staring into those eyes. They were so wide, so innocent.

"What do you think?" Pa's voice was warm. Adam looked up just long enough to flash a wide smile at his Pa.

"I love him." Those words startled Adam as much as they did Ben. "He's…perfect." Adam whispered, then kissed the baby's forehead gently.

Adam knew then and there he would do anything to protect that baby. And Hoss too. When Marie died, Adam had hid his own grief to make sure his Pa and his brothers worked through theirs. And even when Joe got older and they started butting heads over things, Adam still loved his brothers more than anything in his life. Had he shown that as much as he could have? Did Joe know how much he loved him?

He was brought back to the present by Joe shifting under his hand. He whimpered and started thrashing.

"Easy, Joe. Easy. I'm right here." Adam soothed, feeling Joe still as he touched Joe's forehead. How long he sat there, he did know, but the moon had almost set when he stretched out on his own bed, still watching Joe for any signs of distress. Adam finally dropped off fitfully, his dreams filled with snapping whips and big, innocent, frightened eyes.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

Dennis Fredricks knocked on the door across from him. The door was opened by a tall man with a pronounced scar across his forehead. He nodded and let Fredricks in. Two other men were seated around a small table, deep in conversation. They looked up at Fredricks expectantly.

"You remember that kid we ran into outside of Reno?" He said, anxiety showing in his voice. The other men flinched, and their leader nodded.

"What about him?" He said in his quiet, menacing rumble.

"He's here. In Carson City, with his brother." Fredricks twirled his hat nervously in his hands.

"Did he see you?" Bill asked in his quiet way.

"Naw, he was too drunk to see anything." Fredricks said hurriedly.

Bill nodded, absently picking up his gun and turning it over in his hands. "I thought he'd be dead. I'm almost glad he didn't die…we didn't get to finish our game." He looked over at Fredricks. "Did you get a name?"

"His brother's name is Cartwright. Adam Cartwright."

Bill swore violently, slamming a fist on the table. The other three men jumped. "Cartwright? Damn."

"What's a matter, boss?" The youngest man, Jakes-Todd Jakes- asked timidly. Bill looked up.

"The Cartwrights are very powerful out Virginia City way. They have a lot of pull with a lot of people. If that boy spots one of us, there is no way we can bluff our way out of the charges. Cartwright word is as good as the law in some parts of Nevada." Bill rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"We can't let that kid live to bring us in. We have to kill him, but we got to make it look like an accident." He cocked a head at the other man in the room thoughtfully. "What do you think, Pines?"

The large, scarred man frowned. " With the brother with him that might be difficult. But it can be done."

Bill Harvess nodded. "Good. Cause I ain't hanging for that scrawny little kid. And his precious brother can kiss my boots…we'll just have to get creative."

Three of the four men laughed cruelly, but Todd Jakes merely frowned. He finally raised his hand and quiet descended.

" Maybe we don't need to kill him. Would he have any proof? It's his word against ours, and maybe he won't recognize us anyway."

Bill scowled at him. "You gone soft, boy?"

Todd backed down a little. "No…I was just thinking on what Pines said. If it's going to be that tricky, we could get caught. I'm just thinking that if we give him a chance…maybe we can just leave and have no problems."

Bill started to yell, then paused. "Maybe you're right…" He grinned suddenly, a cruel sight. "We will give him one day…tomorrow. If he doesn't recognize us, we let him live. If he does, we kill him….but we'll have a bit of fun with him first."


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: I am glad you guys are enjoying reading this story as much as I like writing it! I was nervous, honestly; Adam is kind of a hard character for me to write. I hope I am doing him justice! Reviews are welcome!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bonanza or any recognizable characters/places. _

Little Joe woke with a pounding headache. He knew instantly that he was hung over, and he knew that Adam would be angry. He already started concocting an excuse for his drunkenness as he sat up and looked around the room, trying to place where he was. His eyes alighted on the tin of salve and it all came rushing back. This previous night was mostly a blur; he could remember Adam taking him to the saloon, he remembered drinking, and he remembered that he saw something that scared him. But he couldn't remember that that thing was…

He looked over at Adam's bed and was surprised to see his brother still sleeping. Adam was always the first one up in the mornings; Joe could count on one hand the times he had ever even seen Adam truly asleep. He smiled slightly, amused at how childlike Adam's face appeared when he slept.

Little Joe quietly dressed and debated waking his brother. Adam took the choice away from him and sat up sharply, eyes whipping around the room. Seeing Little Joe, Adam relaxed.

"Morning, brother." Little Joe smiled, noticing the dark circles under Adam's eyes. How late was he up last night? Joe suddenly felt guilty. Because he had been so drunk, he had had no recollection of his nightmares, but Adam would have sat with him if he had had them…

"How is your back?" Was the first thing out of Adam's mouth as he swung his legs onto the floor, reaching for his boots.

"Just fine, Adam. How'd you sleep?" Joe asked, concerned at the paleness of his brother's face.

"What about your chest? Did any of your ribs get bruised or cracked when they kicked you?" Adam continued as if Joe hadn't asked him a question. He finished putting on his boots and stood.

"Adam, my ribs are fine. Are _you_ alright?" Joe pressed. Adam didn't answer, merely looked over Joe as if his brother was on inspection. In a way, Joe guessed, he was. Seeming not to find what he was looking for, Adam strapped on his gun belt and picked up his hat.

"We have time for breakfast before our appointment with Mr. Walker." He spoke tersely; Joe could tell Adam would need a cup of coffee before he would carry on a semblance of a conversation. "Let's go."

Joe followed his brother as quickly as he could, trying to ignore the fact his head ached and he really didn't feel like eating anything. When Adam got in these moods, it was best just to say yes, sir and do as he said. There was a dining room right off the Hotel foyer, complete with a warm breakfast. The smell of bacon and eggs made Joe's hung-over stomach churn, but he attempted to do the plate justice. Adam downed an entire cup of coffee in one gulp, then refilled it and sipped it normally. Joe could practically see the stoniness melt from Adam's face with each sip of caffeine. Joe filed that away; next time Adam was angry with him, distract him with coffee. He hid his smile behind his own cup of steaming liquid, looking around the dining room casually. Suddenly, Joe felt his muscles go rigid.

Four men were walking through the front lobby of the Hotel, grinning and laughing at some unheard joke. They were certainly cleaner and less menacing then the last time Little Joe saw them, but he would know them anywhere. In a flash he remembered what had scared him so badly the night before; he had seen one of the men at the bar in the saloon.

Joe hissed, putting his cup down sharply. The clink of the chinaware made the youngest looking man of the four turn his head. Recognition spread over the young man's face as he and Little Joe locked eyes for a few heartbeats. Then he turned away quickly and followed the other men.

"Joe? Are you alright?" Adam was asking…Joe could hear him as if they were underwater. But he could not find his own voice; he kept watching as the four men walked out the front hotel door onto the boardwalk outside. Joe couldn't even open his mouth. He knew it was just a matter of time before they found him...before they finished what they started. And he had nowhere to run.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

Adam had been watching his brother for several moments. Joe had been acting normally, if a little sluggish, but suddenly he had gone rigid and pale, eyes transfixed on something. Adam looked up to see what Joe was so focused on and saw the Hotel door closing. Adam stood and hurried out the door himself, looking around for anything suspicious, but only saw the normal, bustling town. Frowning, the oldest Cartwright turned to go back to the Hotel and almost crashed into a frightened looking Joe.

"Joe, why did you-" Adam started, then stopped as Joe cut him off.

"Where were you going?" Joe asked tightly, eyes wide.

"I was seeing if I could find the ghost you just saw." Adam motioned to his brother's unnaturally pale face. "Why don't you tell me what is going on?"

Joe looked like he was going to refuse, but then something seemed to deflate in his manner. "I saw four of the five men that…I ran into."

Adam suspected as much. "Do you see them now?" Adam was surprised at the actual venom in his voice. He knew Joe had heard it too and prayed his brother knew it was directed at him.

Joe looked around carefully, paused, then shook his head. "No. But I do see Mr. Walker's offices, and we don't want to be late for our appointment."

Adam almost smiled at his brother's effective change of subject. Almost. "Alright, we will keep our appointment. Then we will go and see the Sheriff."

Joe's eyes went wider then Adam had ever seen them. "No, Adam, we can't!"

"And why not?" Adam fell in step with Joe as they walked across to their father's patron. "Don't you want those men punished?" He barely kept his voice down. He knew how stubborn Joe could be, and he was not in the mood for an argument.

Joe paused. "I could be wrong. And there is no proof; how can we expect the Sheriff to believe me?"

Adam shook his head in frustration. "Joe, he can't very well believe a story he has never heard. It is our civic duty to report your attack."

"It's all well and good for you to quote civic duty at me, but it isn't your back torn to shreds." Joe snapped, causing a passing man to flinch and cross to the other side of the street.

"That is why you should want to talk to the Sheriff even more than I do. Don't you want them to pay for what they did?" Adam asked patiently.

"We're here." Joe pointed to the painted sign in the window, proclaiming the building to be Walker's Development Office. Adam reluctantly stopped the conversation and he and Joe delivered, witnessed, and signed the contracts with the aging Mr. Walker. The friendly but clearly lonely developer kept the boys tied up in friendly conversation. Adam politely participated in the chat, although he was chafing to drag his stubborn, mule-headed brother to the Sheriff's office. Although, he suspected the real battle would be getting his brother to the Doctor's office to have his back checked. As the two bid Walker goodbye, Adam mulled over which fight he wanted to pick first. He decided on the Doctor. Joe might change his mind about the Sheriff given time.

Adam was correct; Joe protested visiting the Doctor violently. It was only when Adam threatened to carry him over his shoulder did Joe simmer down. Even then, he growled the entire way.

Adam resisted the childish urge to roll his eyes at his brother when Joe slunk in the door to the Doctor's office. The friendly looking, snowy haired physician shook hands with both Cartwrights and introduced himself as Dr. Bronson.

"I can cure anything except a broken heart." He grinned slightly, folding a bandage. "What can I help you boys with? I don't suppose one of you wants to apply for the nurse's position?"

Adam shook his head, laughing a little. "No, no. We were wondering if you could take a look at my brother."

"Pity. I am short-staffed right now. What seems to be the problem?"

"His back got pretty torn up a week or so ago; we wanted to make sure it was healing alright."

The doctor nodded. "If you could go through the second door over there." He motioned. "I will ask you to keep your voices down, however. I have a gunshot victim in that first room and he needs his rest."

Joe looked at Adam desperately, but Adam was unrelenting. Joe followed Dr. Bronson miserably into the second room. Adam debated following his brother, but decided against it. Joe could handle a doctor examination by himself; goodness knows he had had enough of them. Adam fought the urge to pace and sat patiently until Dr. Bronson came out. The man looked grave. Adam stood and waited for the report.

"He has no broken bones and your brother's back is healing nicely. In fact, most of those stitches could come out today; they won't even scar. Only one is seriously deep, you will have to have it removed at a later time." The doctor paused. "However, I feel that the main damage has been mental. Your brother was jumpy the entire time I was examining him, and actually cried out when I touched his shoulder." The doctor paused again. "Do you know how he got these injuries?"

Adam nodded. "Mostly."

Dr. Bronson relaxed. "Then he has talked about it?"

Adam nodded. "Yes. Reluctantly, but he talked about it."

"That will help him more than anything. I will remove the stitches that should come out today, and give you some tablets that will ease the pain he must be feeling. The rest is up to him."

"Thank you, Doctor." Adam said, reseating himself to wait for the doctor to finish up.

A little later Dr. Bronson was handing Adam a bottle of pills and Joe was shrugging on his coat a little stiffly.

"I'm glad I could help; feel free to drop by again." Dr. Bronson smiled. "I hate to duck out, but I need to check on my other patient." He bide his goodbyes and went into the first room, closing the door behind him.

The door opened behind the boys and Adam turned. He saw Joe stiffen again and his brother's face went pale. "You!" Joe gasped out.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" A low, rumbling, threatening voice said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Thank all of you so much for your reviews and support! I am really enjoying writing this and I hope you all are still enjoying reading it! So sorry for the delay, life happened is all I can say. Hopefully I can update a bit more regularly, and quickly, now. On with the story! **

**BNZ BNZ BNZ **

Adam surveyed the four men in front of him. There were two tall men, one a few inches taller than Adam with a prominent scar and a clean-shaven man with a hard face. There was a young man, no older than Joe, Adam guessed, who looked as if he would rather be anywhere but there. And…somehow, he was not surprised Fredricks was with them. The smallest man laughed nervously. "Well, it's Mr. Cartwright! Fancy seeing you here! I hope you are not ill."

"Save it, Den. The kid knows us." The same low voice came out of the unscarred tall man, clearly the leader. He glanced at the youngest member of the group. "See? I told you."

Adam repressed the urge to just shoot the man and smiled, all of his teeth showing sharply like a wolf.

"You must be Bill." Adam said it in the same tone of disgust he would use describing a deadly disease.

The tall man quirked his lips slightly. "You've heard of me, have you?"

"Word gets around." Adam shot back, standing straight and narrowing his eyes. He seriously doubted the men would get threatening with the Cartwrights in a doctor's office; he just had to keep the situation from boiling over.

Bill glanced at Joe. "How are ya, kid? Back healing well? My friend isn't healing too nicely. He's got an infection. Doc thinks he might lose his leg."

"Sorry to hear that." Joe's voice was angry and strangled at the same time, as if holding himself back from lunging or running. Adam tried to get the man's attention back to him, leaving Joe out of it.

"You might want to be careful, mister. You're incriminating yourself every time you speak." He said, hand casually resting on his gun.

Bill glanced at him in annoyance. "It's your word against ours, pal. And I doubt our friend here wants to go up against us, do you, boy?"

The last bit was directed at Joe with a forceful directness. Joe didn't answer, his fists clenched so tightly Adam saw a thin trickle of blood coming from where his nails pierced his palm. Something shook inside Adam, a thin crack in his mask started. The scarred man took a step forward.

"You should answer us, kid." He was saying, raising his hand.

For many years Adam had prayed for Joe to grow out of his hotheadedness, to mature to the point he would argue with his mind and tongue, not his fists. Every time his youngest brother came home with a blackened eye and dusty clothes, Adam had ground his teeth, waiting for the day Joe would master his temper, to learn to listen to reason. But in spite of all of that, nothing was a better sight to him then Joe springing at the larger man. Whatever they had done, these men hadn't broken Joe's spirit, as Adam had feared. Adam did nothing to hold his impetuous brother back as Joe grabbed the large man by the throat and had forced him against the wall. "You want an answer? Huh? You want an answer? This a good enough one for you?"

The two were struggling, each trying to get their hands around the other's neck. Joe was winning, clearly, despite his smaller size and wounded shoulder. Bill and Fredricks looked like they were about to join the struggle when the youngest man spoke sharply.

"Can we please not do this _here_?" He glanced pointedly at closed door. "My brother's in there, in case you have forgotten."

Bill shot a look at him. "Pines, let the kid go." The scarred man grudgingly let go of Joe, although the Cartwright boy showed no interest in letting go of him. Adam finally spoke.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

"Joe, let him go." The youngest Cartwright heard as he doubled one fist to swing at the man he had pinned down.

"Adam!" The word of protest ripped from his throat instantly. Surely Adam wouldn't expect him to stand down? After everything?

"Please, Joe." Adam was quiet, reasonable. "This is not the proper time or the place."

Joe reluctantly backed away from the scarred man and stood beside his brother. Bill was grinning.

"I look forward to the time and the proper place, kid." He eyed Joe. "We need to finish what we started. And let me tell you something; any Sheriffs or deputies come tapping on our door, we are going to know who sent them, and we aren't going to be happy. And we're going to come knocking."

"Let me tell _you_ something." Adam cut in before Joe could respond. "If any one of you even looks at my brother crossways I will slit his throat and let his body rot where it falls."

Joe stared openly at his brother. 'Still waters run deep' was a phrase Joe heard all the time in school. Ever his Pa had said it a few times. Joe had never understood it clearly until then; the moment he heard the rage and fury so carefully masked leak through in his brother's voice. The three henchmen shifted slightly, Fredricks actually sweating as Bill and Adam locked into a staring contest.

Joe wasn't sure whether to feel relief or offence when Bill finally jerked his at his men and they filed out the door, sending poisonous looks over their shoulders. He had had things in hand; he had been winning the fight, even. Why had Adam stopped him? Why had Adam cut him off when Bill threatened him? He could have responded himself.

And then something occurred to him. The anger Adam had shown, however briefly, was raw and more powerful then Joe had ever seen before. Realization hit Joe like a thunderclap.

_He blames himself. _Joe thought numbly. _He thinks this is his fault. _

BNZ BNZ BNZ

Adam was having a hard time keeping himself calm. How _dare_ those men walk about so carefree, with innocence on their faces and lies in their mouths? How _dare_ they act like they did nothing wrong? How _dare_ they threaten Joe, in front of him, no less? And how dare _he_, the one that was supposed to protect his family, allow them to hurt Joe? He should have been on that trail with him…he should have cautioned Pa against letting Joe go alone…he should have known…he should have done _something_! And here he was, still allowing those men to play with his brother's mind. How could he allow that?

"Mr. Cartwright?" Dr. Bronson had come out of the closed room, face concerned. "I heard some of what happened-"

"Doctor, will all due respect; please stay out of it." Joe was saying, something flittering across his face. Adam was still having trouble focusing on anything except the sharp anger pulsing through his head. Anger at Bill and his gang, anger at Joe for not telling him sooner, anger at himself. He barely noticed Joe giving the doctor some pasty, flimsy excuse for what had happened, then steer his older brother out of the office.

"What do we do now?" Joe was asking as Adam got himself back under control.

"We get some supplies and get home as fast as we can." Adam said without thinking. Joe nodded.

"That sounds like the best idea you've had for some time." Joe answered jokingly, and Adam forced his face into a tight smile. "But I have a better one."

"Oh?" Adam felt a coil of anxiety thread into his stomach. Would Joe go looking for the four men and finish the fight?

"We go to the Sheriff and explain everything that has happened, _then _we get some supplies and go home."

Adam frowned; he hadn't expected Joe to change his mind about that. "Why do you suddenly want to go to the Sheriff?"

"Maybe your moral lessons of civic duty finally took root. Or maybe they just made me really mad. Either way, you won." Joe grinned, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Adam knew there was something else prompting his brother's actions, but he acquiesced without complaint. As the two fell in step, Adam felt the neck of his neck tickle with the strangest sensation he was being watched; and he knew exactly by whom.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

"What is the plan, Harvess?" Pines said as they watched the brothers cross the street. Bill's horse shifted under him, his excitement feeding off of his rider's.

"We wait until they get out of town, then we follow them."

"But they are going to the Sheriff!" Fredricks said in a nervous voice. "They could start investigating us."

Bill looked sideways at his henchman. "There won't be much of an investigation when their only witnesses are dead."

Fredricks nodded slowly, understanding filling his eyes. "I like this plan."

Bill smiled slowly, a cruel smirk crossing his face. "It never fails."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Due to an amusing but unfortunate series of events I was bereft of internet this whole time, please forgive me the long wait! This chapter isn't as polished or as long as I would like, but I wanted to post **_**something.**_** I hope you all are still enjoying the story, and I look forward to hearing from you all as usual! **

Adam shot a worried glance at the dark clouds above the riders. It was the heart of storm season, and it appeared a bad tempest would be overtaking the Cartwrights shortly.

He spared a glance at Joe. His younger brother was still fuming over their unsuccessful discussion with the Sheriff; the man had expressed concern over Joe's story, but said without proof he could do nothing. Adam had the feeling the man was scared of Bill Harvess and wanted nothing to do with him. Adam wished that all Sheriffs could be like Sheriff Coffee; the tough as nails lawman would have pursued the truth at all costs. But this lawman had given the boys a brush-off, filling out a report that undoubtedly was destroyed the instant the Cartwrights left.

"You doing alright?" He asked, watching the way Joe tensed his shoulders. His own body was beginning to show signs of fatigue, but he knew it had to be even worse for his brother. "It is about time for another one of those tablets, if you want it."

"No, I'm fine." Joe said, shaking his head emphatically. "Just frustrated at that-"

"I know."Adam broke in, stopping a ten minutes rant Joe had repeated several times since they had started riding. Before he could say anything more, he felt a cold drop of rain hit his hand. He privately wondered what else could possibly go wrong with this trip as the rain began to come down hard, and he could feel from the pressure in the air that lightening would not be far away.

He and Joe instantly began looking for shelter, but the roads before and behind them were dismally flat; with a flat prairie on either side. The horses needed no urging to quicken their pace; neither animal was keen on thunderstorms.

Suddenly Joe reigned in sharply, pointing at a trail leading off to their left. Adam saw a small weather beaten sign that proclaimed the town of Rusty Springs was one half mile away. He vaguely remembered visiting Rusty Springs once, many years ago. He sharply turned Sport and nodded at his brother, the heavy wind tearing his voice away when he tried to answer. The two rode hard down the trail and arrived in the town quickly, but not quick enough to avoid being drenched by the rain. Adam pulled up sharply, realizing there was no evidence of human life; all the buildings looked deserted and had the air of a dead town. Adam wasn't surprised; Rusty Springs had been under populated even in its glory days. But the Hotel seemed to be intact and safe to bunk in. The stables were in relatively good repair as well, and Joe and Adam wasted no time in taking refuge in the barn.

"That storm could rival Noah's." Joe said wearily as he rubbed Cochise down.

Adam stuffed a battered blanket he had found in the cracks in the doors; patching the drafts to make the barn livable for the animals for the night. There was a little straw, and old and musty though it was, it would have to do.

"At least Noah had an ark." Adam pointed out as he picked up his saddle bags. "Unless we prefer to bunk here, we are going to have to make a run for the Hotel."

Joe made a face and picked up his own bags. The two watched the sky through the door a moment, then ran as soon as the rain looked like it was slacking off. The Hotel door slammed behind them as the wind howled angrily.

Adam dropped the bags by the door and headed straight for the fireplace. He was relieved to find it was clean and in working order, and there was a stacked bundle of wood. He set about building a fire.

"This place is still furnished." Joe sounded confused. "But the town is obviously abandoned…why would they leave all this stuff?" He held up a blanket to prove his point.

"Often, towns like this will leave their Hotels furnished for wayward travelers." Adam explained. "For such a situation like this." He held his breath, relieved when a blaze began to heat the room. "It was the town's way of saying goodbye, I believe. I'm not too sure."

"Well, I'm just glad they do." Joe joked as he dropped the blanket by Adam. Adam agreed, and the two set about eating and settling down for the night; the storm slowly slacking off until by three in the morning it was nothing more than a drizzle.

But while the storm moved away from the boys, four drenched and angry riders grew nearer and nearer, following tracks before the rain could obliterate them. Four riders drew close to the abandoned town, four riders spotted the two boys through the window of the Hotel, and four riders laid in wait for their quarry.

Adam sat up, smelling coffee. Joe was already up and had a plate of food ready for him. His brother seemed restless and edgy about something Adam kept an eye on him as he ate; watching Joe take one of the tablets the doctor had given him, then begin pacing.

"What is wrong?" Adam finally asked. Joe started. "What makes you think anything is wrong?" He asked, giving a shaky smile. Adam rolled his eyes.

"You pace any faster you will set the floor on fire. What is it?" He pressed.

Joe shrugged. "I just have a funny feeling, that is all. I just want to get home."

"You and me both." Adam agreed. "I'll go get the horses ready if you will clean up in here." Joe made no protest and Adam headed out to the stable. He led out the horses after saddling them, tightening the saddle bags on Sport.

Suddenly, Adam got the strangest feeling he was being watched. He swung his glance to the saloon across from the Hotel and frowned. He distinctly remembered all the windows and doors being boarded in the saloon, but the boards were gone from across the main door. The mud in front of the bar was churned up and he would bet that there were horses in back.

The Cartwrights had company.

"Joe!" He shouted in alarm as he pushed into the Hotel. Joe looked up quickly from where he was dousing the fireplace.

"What is it?" He said in concern.

"I think Bill's gang followed us." He indicated the saloon over his shoulder. "I don't know how, but I am sure of it."

Joe went red, then white, then red; anger and fear battling each other. "What do we do?"

At that moment, a shout could be heard from the middle of the street.

"I see we keep running into each other!" Bill's voice was almost jovial. Adam motioned for Joe to stay away from the windows and drew his own gun, crouching lower by the door. "Why don't you invite me and the boys in?" Bill was almost taunting.

"Why did you follow us, Harvess?" Adam shouted back. There was no use in pretending they were not there; Bill knew they were.

"Sadly, your brother and you have been spreading some nasty rumors about us." Bill's voice got slightly louder, as if he had walked closer to the Hotel. "I want an apology."

Adam didn't respond, just peeked out through a window. Bill was indeed standing in the street, flanked by the large scarred man and the young kid. Fredricks was hanging back nervously. Adam suddenly sensed Joe moving toward him, crouching beside him. He wanted to motion his brother back behind the desk where he would be safe, but he knew Joe wouldn't allow that. The whole situation had the same feeling of the air before the storm; the knowledge something was going to break loose but not knowing when.

Adam felt something knot in his stomach as he saw the malice in Harvess and Pines eyes. Their odds were not good.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

Bill cocked his head at the Hotel. The boys were smart, staying away from the windows and not replying each time to allow them to pinpoint their voices. But they didn't have enough manpower to completely fortify their hiding place. He jerked his head at Pines, and the large man started circling to the back of the Hotel, hoping to find an open door. Bill spoke again.

"You know; our only complaint is really with the kid. You don't have to play the hero…we'll let you go if you turn him over to us. What do you think about that?"

He had to keep the two distracted long enough for Pines to get around back.

"I am a reasonable guy. You are outnumbered. Even if you get one of us, we will kill you before you could aim again. Think about it; why should you die protecting that snot-nosed kid, Cartwright? I know of your family, Cartwright…I know he's only your half brother. You don't owe him any obligation, truly. You really want to die for a brat that isn't even full-blood to you? Like I said, give us the kid and we let you go. What do you say?"

An unexpected report of gunfire causing Bill to jump slightly, and hear a shout as Fredricks' hat flew off his head.

"Boss! He shot my hat off!" The small man gasped in terror.

"I guess that answers my question." Bill commented quietly, ignoring his henchman. "Love…such a deadly emotion. Well boys…it looks like we're going to a gunfight."


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: I am so so so so so sorry I haven't posted sooner! A thousand apologies to you, you wonderful and amazing fans! I must beg one more apology for yet another cliffhanger, but I felt that this would be a clean breaking place. Reviews are much appreciated, if any of you are still around! :) _

_BNZ BNZ BNZ _

Adam eyed the men. They were getting ready to start a fight; he could sense it. His bullet had been the declaration of war, and they were answering. He noticed the big one was missing and knew he would be circling. Adam also knew all the door and windows were boarded up; they would be able to hear if the man broke one down. He wasn't worried about him.

He could feel Joe's eyes on him. He looked over his shoulder. "Get ready; they will start shooting pretty soon, I bet."

"You should go." Joe said suddenly, causing Adam to frown. "What?"

"You could go; get help. They aren't after you…they wouldn't follow you." Joe said saying in a tumble. "You could ride, get the Sheriff…"

Adam reached over and gently smacked Joe on the back of his head. "You can stop right there."

Joe obeyed, giving a little half smile. The relief in his eyes made Adam smile slightly himself, before falling serious again. "They sent the big one around back; if we start firing on them before he gets back we might have a chance. Fredricks is jumpy…it wouldn't take much to spook him. Harvess is the deadliest one out there, I think."

Joe nodded in agreement, showing he was following his brother's train of thought.

"If we start it, we have the better chance of finishing it." Adam looked over the windowsill for the briefest of seconds. "They are talking right now, distracted. Are you ready?"

Joe nodded sharply. "Ready." He raised his gun and Adam realized in surprise there was no fear in his little brother's eyes. Joe had no doubt they would make it out of this; Adam thought with a start.

"On three." He said, lowering his voice needlessly. "One, two…"

It seemed the longest instant in the world before he said three, and in that split second, they gang opened fire on the old Hotel.

Adam ducked as the window above him shattered, sending glass shards skittering over the dusty floor. Joe returned fire, busting out a section of the window above him to fire through. Adam did likewise, aiming at Harvess. But the man was fast, faster than Adam's bullets. He ducked and started running, but then Adam's attention was brought to Fredricks, who was a good shot for being so nervous. The little man, hiding behind an old watering trough, raised his gun and fired at Adam through the window. Adam managed to avoid the bullet, but only barely.

A bullet passed through the door within an inch of Joe's ear. Joe jumped, and Adam realized his brother was out of bullets.

"There's more in the bags, Joe." Adam said unnecessarily; Joe knew where the extra bullets were. He spoke to assure himself that this was not a dream; he hoped it was. His heart was pounding in a surreal way and his vision almost seemed to swim. No such luck, he realized.

"Got it." Joe hissed, slithering down and running to the bags. The other men seemed to be out as well; no more gunfire tore through the air. Adam risked a look, and saw in horror that Harvess, flanked by his men advancing on the Hotel quickly.

"Joe! They're coming in!" Adam leapt to his feet as the door came crashing in. Harvess looked angry; angrier than Adam could think possible. He could use that to his advantage.

"Alright, throw your gun over here." Harvess aimed his gun at Little Joe. "And you can hold it right there, kid."

Adam reluctantly put his gun on the floor, as slowly as humanly possible.

"Come on, hurry up!" Harvess snapped angrily, jerking his gun at Little Joe. "You're making Fredricks nervous, and he gets all twitchy when he is nervous."

Fredricks, as Bill said, looked very jumpy and was holding his pistol straight at Adam's head. The young man-Jakes- didn't have his gun aimed at anyone properly, but it was drawn and he had his finger on the trigger. The sound of the gunfight had brought Pines back to the front, and he came through the door with his gun drawn as well.

The two Cartwrights were outnumbered. That in itself didn't bother Adam; they had been outnumbered before, and four against two weren't terrible odds. But these men were smart and they were tough. It would take a miracle to get them out of this scrape. Adam had nothing against hoping for miracles, but he chafed against the fact he was helpless.

"Alright, Pines; get their guns. Knives too; we don't want any surprises." Harvess instructed. The two brothers did not fight the scarred man as he took their weapons. Adam set his jaw tightly when Pines shoved Joe on his wounded shoulder. Joe's head shot up and he glared at the man, but didn't say anything. Joe just clenched his fists.

Fredricks herded Adam closer to Joe, keeping his shaking gun aimed at the two. Adam raised his hands as Fredricks jerked his gun upwards, complying with every demand. He was not going to give these men any reason at all to shoot. Not that they really needed a reason.

Harvess gave a dramatic sigh. "If only you boys hadn't gone poking your nose around. You know, kid, if you had just kept riding on that trail we would have left you alone. You really have no one to blame but yourself." He gave a little grin. Joe, to Adam's relief, just kept staring at Harvess with that disquieting expression he had perfected. He said nothing. Seemingly bored, Harvess glanced at Adam, then stepped forward and hit him as hard as he could with the butt of his gun.

Adam went down on one knee, black spots exploding over his vision and his head pounding.

"Leave him alone." Joe snapped. Pines and Harvess laughed, and Fredricks's unsteady laugh joined in, thundering in Adam's head.

_Come on, Adam…think! You have to think! _He thought angrily. _You can't rush them; you have to distract them. Keep them unbalanced, keep them away from Joe. That's his only chance. _

Harvess was speaking again. "Look there, boys. The little boy gets all blubbery when his precious brother is attacked. How sweet." The acid in his voice was hateful, and accompanied by a sharp kick to Adam's ribs. "Remember kid, this is your fault."

"It's not his fault you became a coward and a scoundrel." Adam pointed out sarcastically. "And no one could help the fact you were born ugly."

Harvess turned to Adam with anger in his eyes. Adam winced in pain as Harvess kicked him again. Joe was shaking visibly, eyes flashing and Adam could almost hear a growl coming from Joe's throat.

"I want you to remember that, with your last few minutes, kid. You have no one to blame for your brother's and your death but yourself." Harvess said, motioning Pines over to Adam. The older Cartwright knew instantly what was going to happen. He tried to fight back, struggling to get his feet. Pines hit the back of his neck and he went down again. Pines kicked him again, and continued to do so anytime he moved.

"Watch him, kid. See him bleed. Because of you."

"I'm going to kill you, Harvess." Joe's voice was almost calm, but the choked emotion was still too clear. "I will see you in hell."

"Oh, I don't doubt that, kid. Only thing is, you Cartwrights are going to get there first." Harvess sighed. "I'm getting bored of this act, boys. Let's move on to the grand finale."

Pines backed away until he was right beside Joe, nodding in agreement.

Bill aimed his pistol at Adam. Adam looked up, through the blood pouring in his eye from a gash on his forehead and saw the man grin. Adam saw the flash of fire from the gun and writhed in pain as he felt the bullet hit home.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

"No!" Joe yelled like a madman, lunging forward. There was a buzzing in his ears, a loud clamor grew louder as he saw Adam lay still. Pines grabbed him and held onto him, preventing him from attacking Harvess. The ringleader laughed.

"Jakes, bring the kid here. I want him to see this, up close and personal."

"No." The young man said in shaky defiance. Startled, Harvess looked over at the young man. Jakes was standing tall, his gun aimed at Harvess. "I'm not going to let you do that, Bill. It's not right. Nothing you did was ever right. And I'm not going to let you kill him."

"That's too bad, boy." Bill said with venom. He turned his gun to the young man, and that provided the opening Joe needing. He slammed his head back into Pine's face as hard as he could. Pines swore violently, letting him go. Joe ducked as gunfire erupted all around him. He grabbed the gun resting on the floor and began shooting. There was confusion everywhere, a cloud of gun smoke and shouting that seemed to cover everything. Joe spotted a clear shot at the cause of all this pain. Suddenly he couldn't hear the other gunfire; it was as if everything had stopped around him as he turned, aiming carefully.

Harvess's mouth dropped open as he looked down at his chest, then back at Joe. He slowly fell, landing on his back with his hand still clenched around his gun.

Joe heaved a strained breath and looked around the abandoned hotel. Pines also lay dead, and Fredricks was lying wounded, whimpering and pleading for Joe not to kill him. Joe ignored the cowardly man and ran to Adam.

"Adam!" He snapped as he turned his brother over. "You stay with me, you understand? You hear me?"

Adam didn't answer, and Joe felt like he was about to break, right there on the pitted and dusty floor of a forgotten hotel, surrounded by dead and dying men.

"No, Adam, you can't be dead." Joe said in a whisper. "I can feel your heartbeat; you're still with me. And you are going to stay with me, you hear?"

He looked his brother over and found the wound in his brother's side. It didn't look too serious, but was bleeding heavily; causing concern. Joe pressed his coat to the wound, eliciting a sudden hiss from Adam.

"Adam?" Joe said in hope.

"If this is heaven, I got a bad deal." Adam said lightly, sitting up. "It's okay, Joe. It's just a flesh wound. I just passed out…I am sorry. You had to fight them off yourself."

Joe sat back and started laughing hysterically. Adam looked at him sharply. "What's so funny?"

"Only you, Adam. Only you would go through hell and back for me, then be angry at himself for passing out when he was _shot_." Joe ran a hand through his curls roughly. Adam didn't smile, instead pressing the makeshift bandage closer.

"I should have thought they would have followed us. I am sorry." He seemed adamant on taking the blame for the whole nightmarish ordeal.

"It wasn't your-" Joe broke off as the window above his head shattered from a gunshot.

Fredricks had crawled to Harvess's gun and had shot at the boys. Adam snatched the gun Joe had laid down and fired faster than Joe could see. Fredricks died where he lay.

Adam fell back with a grunt. "Can you ride?"

"What?" Joe said in surprise, still shaken.

"Can you ride?" Adam said again.

"Well…yeah. I can ride." Joe said slowly, knowing he was not about to like whatever Adam said next.

"You will have to ride back to Carson City for the Sheriff and the Doctor."

"Adam, I'm not going to leave you here!" Joe said firmly.

"Joe, listen to me." Adam winced again. "You have to. I am in no shape to move. If you ride hard you can get back to Carson City by mid afternoon. You can be back with the Sheriff and Doctor by first light tomorrow. It's…my only shot."

"I thought you said it was just a flesh wound." Joe said, feeling tears sting his eyes.

"I may have…understated the problem." Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It's…a little more serious than I let on."

Joe swallowed shook his head. "I can get the bullet out, Adam. I can help you."

"I appreciate it, but it's impossible, Joe. You don't have the proper tools…" Adam winced again. "Please, Joe. Hurry."

"You bet I'll hurry. I'll be back by first light tomorrow morning." Joe said with his characteristic resoluteness. "You can bet on that."

And in a way, Joe guessed…Adam was betting on that. He was betting his life on that.

Joe just prayed it wasn't a bluff.


	10. Chapter 10

Joe lay low over Cochise's neck, urging his faithful horse to an almost suicidal pace. He was grateful, not for the first time in his ride, that the terrain was flat prairie. Not that he would go any slower if it wasn't; he had to succeed in his quest….he _had_ to. His thoughts spun back to his brother, all alone in the bullet-ridden hotel with the blood-soaked floorboards. He swallowed even harder and urged Cochise on yet again.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

Adam watched a star begin twinkling through the window he was under. Joe had made him as comfortable as possible before leaving, still reluctant to leave Adam alone. But the older brother had insisted, even telling Joe to leave before moving the bodies out of the lobby.

Adam almost chuckled at the memory of Joe's face when he told him that. "I'm not going to make you stay here with a bunch of corpses, Adam!" The smaller man's eyes had been flashing dangerously.

"Joe, if you don't hurry, I'll be one of them." Adam had regretted using the harsh statement when Joe flinched. Adam softened his voice. "I'll be fine, Joe. Just bring that saddle bag over here and get going."

Joe had complied, but insisted on wrapping Adam's wound up properly with some bandages before going. Nothing Adam could say would change his mind. Then Joe had left, with a reaffirmation of his promise to be back before sunup.

Adam leaned against the wall, glancing down at his wound. It hadn't bled through the bandage yet, which was a good sign. Joe had been gone for almost three hours; he should be almost at the town if nothing had hindered him.

Adam finally glanced over at the fallen men. He felt a pang of remorse when he saw Jakes's body. The kid had given his life trying to protect Joe and Adam…and the oldest Cartwright couldn't figure out for the life of him why.

Adam felt nothing about the other three men, nothing except a strange, almost relieved feeling. He looked out through the window once more, staring at the darkened sky.

He let his mind wander from topic to topic, doing his best to ignore the cadavers a scarce ten feet from him and the bullet in his side. He mildly wondered if Hoss had finished helping the Widow with her harvest yet. He wondered if Pa and the hands had finished repairing the north pasture fence. He wondered if Joe's stitches were holding.

The stars began to swim in front of his eyes, spinning and turning in a celestial dance he could not comprehend. Dark clouds began to join the dance, slowly covering and intertwining with the stars. Adam could hear the melody they were dancing to, a bright, airy tune. There was laughter and a slight mummer of voices as the stars continued their ball.

Adam slowly realized he was becoming delirious. He didn't know what scared him more, being delirious or the fact he could recognize it. He looked down and saw the white bandages had turned red. The sky was lightening, and the stars were no longer dancing. They were crying, white hot tears as the sun slowly rose over the horizon. The bright airy melody had changed, changed into a slow, sad sounding song. Adam recognized it after a few bars.

It was a funeral dirge.

As the last star faded, Adam's head dropped back.

BNZ BNZ BNZ

Doctor Bronson had been sleeping soundly in his above-clinic apartment when a thunderous pounding at his door woke him. He glanced at his wall clock as he sat up. It nearly one in the morning; this would not be a social call.

"Doctor! Doctor Bronson!" A voice yelled. The kindly doctor had the door open in a moment, blinking owlishly out at his visitor. He recognized him instantly.

"Mr. Cartwright. What is wrong?"

Joe poured out the whole story in tortured, short gasps as he tried to catch his breath. The doctor's face grew graver with every word. As soon as Joe mentioned the bullet wound's location, he left the door abruptly. He was back in less than five minutes, dressed and ready to go. Joe gratefully followed the doctor as the man went into his clinic downstairs, gathering supplies.

"I just have to fetch my horse from the livery." Dr. Bronson glanced at the exhausted Cochise and the even more exhausted boy beside him.

"I am familiar with where Rusty Springs is, if you would like to stay and rest." The doctor began, but Joe cut him off.

"Absolutely not. I will just get a fresh horse from the stables; but I am coming with you." The resolve on the young man's face told the doctor not to bother protesting. A spot in the doctor's heart was warmed by the clear brotherly devotion on his companion's face.

"Very well. I will get the horses and you will get the Sheriff."

OOO

Joe was once again bent over the neck of a horse, urging it on at breakneck speeds. Unlike Cochise, this unfamiliar horse had to be urged, and it chafed Joe. He knew it was unreasonable to be annoyed with the animal; it wasn't like it knew Adam's life depended on their arriving quickly.

Fortunately, the doctor did understand and was urging his animal as fast as Joe. The Sheriff was trailing them by a good deal, but Joe frankly didn't care. The Sheriff had been reluctant to come in the first place; declaring it was none of his affair as Rusty Springs was not his town. Joe had all but left the pompous man where he stood when the Deputy stepped in and offered to come in his superior's place. Ashamed, the Sheriff had come along.

Joe glanced up at the sky as it began to lighten. They were almost there…almost there.

The last star had just faded when the doctor and Joe arrived at the hotel. Joe's throat tightened as he saw his brother was not moving. Doctor Bronson knelt beside Adam and felt for a pulse.

"Thank God." The doctor uttered reverently. "We've made it in time; but his pulse is very weak. Help me."

Joe needed no further urging to kneel beside the doctor and roll up his sleeves.

"Adam? Can you hear me?" Joe asked as Dr. Bronson began to unroll the red soaked bandages.

"The stars…they stopped dancing." Adam whispered hoarsely. Not comprehending but relieved to hear his brother's voice, Joe gave a little laugh.

"Yes, Adam. The stars stopped dancing."

"This is worse than I thought." Dr. Bronson said in a low voice to Joe. "He's lost quite a bit of blood. But if I can get the bullet out and close the wound, he may have a chance. I need you to hold him still; keep him calm. Can you do that?"

Joe swallowed as he looked at the ugly hole in his brother's side. "I can do it."

The operation was not a pretty one. Adam struggled, half delirious and unaware of his thrashing. Joe had to pin his brother's arms down so the doctor could get the bullet out, clean the wound, and stitch it as best as he could. The Sheriff had arrived sometime in the struggle, but had wisely stayed silent and out of the way.

"There." The doctor finally leaned back and rubbed his sweating brow with a bloody hand. "That is the best I can do until we get him back to Carson City."

Joe looked down at Adam, who had gone limp minutes before. "Will he…"

"I think he will be fine. He is strong; but he needs a clinic. I am loathing the idea of moving him, but we have no choice." Dr. Bronson said, slowly packing his instruments. Joe nodded, resting his hand on Adam's shoulder.

"Hey, Adam…can you hear me?" Joe asked gently. A slight grunt from Adam told Joe he could.

"We have to move you, Adam. It's going to hurt, probably. But we have to get you to Carson City. Do you think you can?"

"I'll make it, Joe." Adam said in a strong voice that almost made Joe weep. "I'll get there."

OOO

And make it there, they did. It was a long, slow, and painful ride; and often the doctor had stopped them to let Adam rest. But they made it back to Carson City. Adam recalled passing out and not awakening until the next morning.

Adam looked around the warm, sunlight clinic room he had been regulated to as soon as they made it to the doctor's office. Dr. Bronson had been checking on him constantly, as if afraid Adam's body would suddenly make up its mind to quit after its rough treatment.

Joe was almost as bad, hovering from Adam's bedside to the telegraph office to rely messages back home. He was fine, he protested whenever Adam suggested he got rest. Adam knew that wasn't entirely true; Dr. Bronson had had to restitch his shoulder again and practically forced Joe to take a painkiller. But the younger Cartwright didn't seem too worried.

"How are you feeling?" Joe's voice broke Adam's reverie. Sure enough, his brother was sitting next to his bed, perching like a curly-haired mother hen. The mental image brought a smile to Adam's lips.

"Like I've been shot and then rode all day." Adam admitted, sensing Joe wanted the truth. Joe nodded, as if he expected as much.

"Do you think someone has it in for us? Between being shot and wolves and Indians and feuding neighbors and cattle thieves…it seems like we are in trouble every week." Joe joked, but the quip fell a little flat. Adam gave it a small smile none the less.

"Pa and Hoss are on their way here." Joe said. "Telegraphed them as soon as we got into town."

Adam couldn't hide his relief. It would do both Joe and him good to see the rest of their family. Joe continued. "That fool Sheriff finally believes our story; he is taking care of all the reports and burials. Jakes is being treated like a hero."

Adam flinched slightly. "I can't figure out why he did it."

Joe looked sad. "I talked to his brother, before the Sheriff arrested him. Turns out they were orphans; all Jakes had in the world was his brother…maybe he reacted to Harvess playing us against each other. Maybe he hoped someone would do the same for him and his brother. I don't know if we will ever know."

Adam nodded thoughtfully. "I guess not." He glanced at Joe sharply. "Are you alright?"

Joe paused for a long moment. "I will be." He said in a strong, confidant voice, but it cracked at the end. "I'm sorry, Adam. This is all my fault."

Adam looked at Joe in surprise. "Your fault? How is this your fault?"

"If I had told you sooner…none of this would have happened. But I didn't tell you because I am a coward." Joe said with venom, clearly directed at himself. "I didn't tell you because I was scared. I cried, Adam! I cried. I begged them to stop; when Harvess said they should find their cattle brand and brand me. I didn't tell you that part…I was too ashamed. Ashamed that when I saw them get the brand out of their saddle bags, I started begging. Pines starting laughing…something in his eyes scared me; something about the way he was looking at me. Said he could brand me lots of ways. But Harvess just shook his head and held up the brand, said that would do just fine. They had the fire all built, too…if those braves hadn't come along…" Joe trailed off. "And then, when I saw them beating you…I felt that same terror again…and there was nothing I could do. And I wanted to beg him not to hurt you anymore. I'm a coward, aren't I?"

Adam looked at his brother for a long moment. "Oh, Joe…" He said quietly. Suddenly it all made sense. The thing Joe held back from him when telling his story; Joe didn't want Adam or anyone else to think he was a coward. But all the while Joe had been ripping himself apart about it. And that was causing more damage than the wounds ever could.

"You're not a coward, Joe." Adam said. "You're the farthest thing from a coward I've ever seen."

Joe looked at Adam, his face a little less clouded. The oldest Cartwright continued.

"You are not a coward because you asked for mercy. A coward would have ridden away when he saw them beating that little boy. A coward would maybe have stopped and helped them, just so they would not hurt _him_. But you did not. You stopped, you challenged them; you forced them to recognize the evil within themselves. It is not your fault that they could not handle seeing their own wickedness in the mirror; that they lashed out at you. A coward would have given up as soon as they cornered us. A coward would have let them kill him without a whimper. A coward would not have almost killed himself on that ride to save another man. No, Joe. You are not weak. Far from it."

Joe's eyes were no longer troubled; in fact, he looked like a burden had been removed from his shoulders. "You…you mean that, Adam?"

Adam realized that was more praise than he had ever given Joe, and he felt a pang as he recognized the caution in Joe's voice.

"Of course I mean it." Adam closed his eyes. "I am proud to be your brother."

There was a long moment of silence, then Joe spoke. "Thank you, Adam. For…everything."

There was a little laugh from the older Cartwright. "I should be thanking _you_; you were the one that rode like the hounds of hell were after you to save me."

"Hey, what are brothers for?" There was a definite smile in Joe's voice for the first time since he returned from Reno, and Adam laughed in spite of himself.

OOO

It had been almost three weeks since the events of Rusty Springs. All the Cartwrights had just returned from Carson City; Joe and Adam having been released from Dr, Bronson's care. The trip home had been slow due to both wounded boys and the constant fussing from Ben and Hoss. They had arrived late at night and had stumbled into bed without a further thought.

Ben Cartwright watched all three sons as they sat down to breakfast.

Hoss was acting like a mother bird; insisting on serving both his brothers, as if afraid they would tire themselves from scooping out their own syrup. Adam and Joe protested the special treatment, but Hoss silenced them with a look. The large man had been worried almost out of his mind since they got Joe's telegram…the whole ranch had been, in fact.

Ben felt himself that his heart was only now just starting to beat again, knowing his boys were safe and home. He knew they would take time to heal completely; both physically and mentally.

He watched all three sons banter back and forth. He watched the concerned look Joe shot Adam when the oldest laughed a bit too hard and winced. He saw the comforting hand Joe put on Adam's shoulder until the black-clad Cartwright could sit up straight. He watched Hoss refrain from clapping Joe on the shoulder at a joke the younger told; glossing over it naturally, not calling attention to the injuries or the ordeal they had all gone through.

He knew they would be alright. It would take time; it might take nights of crying out and days of quiet mending. But they would be alright, they had each other. No whips or fire or bullet would be able to take that away. Every drop of blood that any of them spilled was Cartwright blood, and that was stronger than any hate or fear anyone could inflict.

Morning had dawned over the Ponderosa bright and clear. Birds sang sweetly, the sun shone merrily, and the Cartwrights were together, safe and sound.

Ben took a sip of coffee and prayed for a normal day.


End file.
